Last year when I was really struggling, I read three books that made a huge difference for me. The first was a book of poetry, Keep Moving, by Maggie Smith. It’s a lovely book, born of deep heartache and sorrow, that helped me begin to put myself back together. It gave me a language to describe my pain and hope that I could heal. The second was Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, which helped me learn to accept the situation that I was in and to become more conscious and aware of my emotional responses. The third was Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler. This one in particular put me on the path that I have been following ever since. It showed me that our lives are mostly lived in phases of turbulence and that, when faced with adversity, we have a choice: we can suffer or we can create a new life for ourselves.
Read moreWhat a difference a year makes
This week I was thinking a lot about how my life was going exactly a year ago. Last October, I was still reeling from the loss of my job and healthcare and dealing with the lingering pain of a particularly hurtful breakup. My identity had been so wrapped up in being an academic that when I was faced with the prospect of what I then perceived to be end of my academic career, I became completely unmoored. I was suffering from nearly constant intrusive and catastrophizing thoughts, daily anxiety attacks, and a general sense of failure. I have struggled with self-esteem issues since I was in middle school, but this was perhaps the most acute period of battling with insecurity that I had yet faced. With the help of my friends and mentors—and let’s be honest, the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program—I was able to survive this rough patch, but it was some time before I really began to heal.
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